Throughout our book, Once a Mom, Always a Mom, and blog we talk about the importance of stepping back as our kids grow. Always being there to support but doing so from an increasing distance. We say it so much we make it sound easy, it isn't.
I realized this weekend that perhaps we need to talk about just how hard and unpredictable this 'stepping back, letting go' thing is. Recently while chatting with a friend I heard stories of what this friend was doing to help her college age daughter find a summer job, making calls for her, lining up meetings, etc. Too much! That's an easy call for us to make, but we shouldn't. The kid makes the calls even when you give her/him the names. But life is more complicated isn't it. How much should we encourage adult children? Cheerlead for them when they hit bumps? Listen to their complaints and concerns about work, difficult bosses, relationships? I guess it becomes more about listening than advising, but I keep struggling to find the balance.
Just when I think I'm doing great, establishing my 'post-kids-at-home-life' I get caught off guard. A few nights ago my husband was away and I put Mamma Mia in the dvd player, a film I'd seen before, good company while I did some ironing. We have a daughter being married this summer and I was totally caught off guard by the flood of emotions, from Slipping Through My Fingers, I was a puddle. So even when we think we know how to let go, each of us will hit potholes along the way.
However I am getting better at 'letting go,' at least on wardrobe choices. Recently there's been lots of shopping with my girls. They have taught me to relax about plunging necklines because double sided tape will keep things from becoming too exciting! Who knew?!
Jean
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