Monday, March 31, 2014

Living Together

I'll confess, I've been a little resistant to blog about this because I have a child who has recently taken this plunge and my husband and I had mixed emotions when this was tee'd up.  I guess I was holding on to the old dogma that the statistics for cohabitating before marriage and divorce were linked and not in a positive light. And quite frankly, I just wasn't psyched about it. I'm a bit old fashioned. But according to the Center for Disease Control, a new report done in 2010, shows otherwise. So....Now that it's been a couple of months, (and we really didn't have much say in this) it's OK. After all, they're adults, they've known each other for a long time, they clearly love each other and they were steadfast in their belief that this was a necessary "next step." Kathy from KCHblog shared a link with me from CNN that offers 19 things to do before you move in together.  She gave me the gentle nudge I needed. (Thanks Kathy).
So what are the reasons to move in together? Is it that different from when we were 20somethings? Has the economy made this more of a "go to" situation than ever before?
If you Google or Bing "living together" a number of sites come up. Take some time and read through them. They trend toward the extreme right as well as to the left. The other interesting thing to note are the dates that the entries were made. 
The bottom-line? The decision to move in together is extremely personal, it shouldn't be taken lightly. As a Mom, ask questions, be sure the couple have really talked honestly about what this means, what kind of commitment it is, because it is a commitment. Money and budget have to be discussed. 
Who's paying for what?
How are expenses being divided?
What are joint purchases? Who "gets" those items if the relationship doesn't work out. (No one wants to talk about this. Tough stuff.)
Communication is key! (That's true in any relationship).
Personally, I think a couple who has a commitment to each other: that they will hang in there through thick and thin, and that the "end game" is marriage and staying together, have a much better chance of "making it." This is hard work, it's not easy and it should be recognized that this isn't marriage. Until you're actually married, you don't really understand that. But we all know couples that tried "the living together thing," found out it wasn't "meant to be" and split. And then of course, there's divorce.  But we do know couples that did live together, got married and are still married and are now advising their twenty somethings on this! There's no right or wrong answer.
The 19 items listed by CNN are interesting springboards for conversation.

8 comments:

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Debra Gibbs said...

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monika love said...

I has suffered for Human papillomavirus HPV) for 2years, I was given some tablets at the hospital but I refused to take it, They said I have to be on it for life so I don't want take a drugs everyday for life. No point in taking medicine everyday when u won't get cure from it and I was advice to seek for natural herbal cure, after some time I found dr onokun is the most trustful herbalist that have herbs to cure wicked symptom's,I emailed dr onokun, for 2weeks been his patient he cured my (HPV) with his herbal. I only used his natural herbs for two weeks it was 100% cure. I'm not (HPV) patient anymore. I'm happy about it i finally got cured out of this mess been in my body for 2years. I also recommend you if you're living with (HPV) or herpes symptoms i also want you to be free contact dr onokun with the email attach to my post. Dronokunherbalcure@gmail.com

Giphy Olivia said...

I was diagnose with human papilloma virus (HPV) 4 years ago and i met a doctor he told me there is no cure and i have be taking some medication the warts multiplied when trying to removed them and it got me embarrass and pains, luckily few weeks ago i was recommend to Dr Onokun for natural treatment after one week i got 100% cure and all the wart and pains got disappeared, i sheared this post because its part of my life experience, encase anyone need speedy help about this cure email Dr Onokun via, dronokunherbalcure@gmail.com

ben rita said...

5 years ago I had warts, I was treated with some liquid applied to the warts they continued to grow and spread... The next 2 doctors did laser surgery to remove them. 1 year after the surgery, they grew back close to where the 1st ones were' so I was finally told it was hpv. I have had it for very long time, I contract it from my cheated boyfriend and I found out he was also infected and I end up the relationship between us. the warts was so embarrasses because it started spreading all over I have be dealing with this things for very long time the last treatment I take was About 2 years ago I applied natural treatment from Dr onokun herbal cure, a week after applying the treatment all the warts was gone. it's now 2 years and some months I don't have single wart or any symptoms of hpv. wow"" it's great, Dr onokun has finally cured me. Anyone living with hpv contact Dr onokun for natural treatment.
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Robert Seaman said...

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Paul Hart said...

I contracted hpv from my ex partner we broke up the relationship about four years ago, I has been on treatment for some years, I had lot pains and embarrassment for been hpv patient last two month i did hpv research online and found website for natural treatment to get ride of my infection, and i went through the site and recommend me to Dr onokun I contacted Dr onokun through his website and been his patient after one month I got cured. I want everyone living with hpv to get this treatment and got cured Dr onokun have the cure to every virus. his email; dronokunherbalcure@gmail.com

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