Monday, June 1, 2009

Sleeping arrangements...

When I mentioned that I was going to blog about this, one of the members of my peanut gallery said, "OMG, you're kidding me?" Nope, I'm not. Here goes.
So they come home for a visit: for a weekend, for the summer or on vacation AND they bring their "significant other" with them. Where does everyone sleep? Now I "wasn't born yesterday" and I know what goes on "out there," out from under mom's watchful eye, but really? Do we all have to be privy to this when they're under our roof? The answer is "no."

Mom did you hear that? I'm sure my mom is looking down on me just smiling, because I know there was a time she had angst about this herself and now that I'm there, I can only but think about that and her. Here's the difference, she spent all kinds of time and energy moving beds around and setting up a "guest room" for our significant others and this guest room was about as far away from her child as physically possible, and though I don't really think this was the case, I think each of us kids "felt" like she was awake all night, baking, doing laundry or something, so no shenanigans would go on. I remember after I got back from my honeymoon, honeymoon is the operative word, I felt really awkward that Bob was not in the guest room and I wasn't in my old bedroom by myself. Weird, I know.

A girlfriend of mine shared that if she had to do it over, her eldest is now in their mid thirties, she would have opted for the 'separate bedrooms until marriage' (in her home) arrangement because there have been several young ladies that have bunked in with her son over the years and it's been challenging "role modeling" for the younger siblings, not to mention uncomfortable for the parents, when they think about it, so they just don't think about it.

I've brought this up in various groups recently and it's been an interesting conversation. Everyone has different feelings on this. But everyone agrees, this is one of those awkward times in our kids' lives and our lives. You'd really rather not have to deal with it, or talk about it, but when that moment arrives and he/she walks through that front door and your child gives them a warm greeting and then, suitcase in hand, your child looks at you and says, "where do you want us?" or "where do you want him/her?" You're on! That's your cue!

I also have noted, that once the precedent was set (and actually it wasn't even really set, it was just clearly more comfortable for our child not to "go there" and each were in separate bedrooms) the other siblings followed suit. Now they may say that it had nothing to do with precedent, that that's how they were the most comfortable, but I have breathed a huge sigh of relief over this. At least for the moment.

That takes care of under MY roof. Vacations are also challenging, especially if you're paying for the accommodations OR if you're at the grandparents'! My current thinking on this is same sex bunk-in together! After all, these significant others need to get to know the family, don't you agree?

Speaking of family... role reversals do tend to appear when you least expect them....sleeping arrangements for your parents when they're back in the dating world and they both come to visit....

1 comment:

Guy said...

It's kind of much ado about nothing in my view but it sure is much ado!!

In my experience as a guy - you don't push it - it's just one night or two (vacations are a little different) and if it's all about sex then you can sneak out and avoid making everyone uncomfortable - after all sex in the car or in the garage in your twenties is kind of exciting!!

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