Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I will always be the mother!

A common phrase in our household, that covers layers of meaning:

As the boys pass me by in height, there's inevitably a moment when one of them looks down at me, pats the top of my head, has a Cheshire grin on his face... I say, "just remember, I will always be the mother."

When they get their driver's license and they grab the keys to the car..."just remember, I will always be the mother." This time I have the Cheshire grin!

When they graduate from high school and they are feeling a real surge of independence, and they're pushing the envelope on that independence all summer long, especially in the curfew department..."just remember, I will always be the mother."

When they head off to college and they're experiencing that huge transition from big fish to little fish in a big sea, the emphasis on various syllables may be a bit different, but...."I will always be your mother."

When they turn 21 and decide to jump out of a plane and sky dive for the first time, because they could... and you hear about it after the fact, because they know you'd worry, or try to talk them out of it, or say "can I join you?" You flip or semi-flip, and somewhere in this flipping out you say, "because I'm your mother, I will always be your mother. Mother's say stuff like this regardless of your age."

When they're home for a visit after they've "moved out" and live on their own, working in the big city, and you get up in the middle of the night...take a moment and pad down the hall, looking in their bedrooms, just checking to be sure they're there....guilty....they just may say to you the next morning, "Mom, I'm 25, you don't have to check on me!" and I say, "I will always be the mother."

They call you from the ER, God forbid, and they say "Mom, I'm OK, just wanted to let you know I'm here, not feeling so good." And you instantly go into Mom-mode, asking a million questions, wishing like heck that you could be there to hold their hand (but they're hours away by car or plane) and so thankful that they called, that they are ABLE to call, "I'm calling because I know you're my mother and I know you'd want to know and I know that you'd be pissed as heck if you found out after the fact...." And they're right, about all of the above.

I guess that's what we really want, is just to be communicated with and to have the chance to discuss stuff with them. It's not our life, it's theirs, I get that... and as they get older and go through life's experiences, they make more and more choices and decisions on their own (just what you want and hope for) but there's no denying, it sure is nice to have stuff run by you!

After all, I wasn't born yesterday...another one of those phrases...been through some life experiences myself, know a few things (though sometimes they don't think so)...

Thank God that I'll always be their mother!

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