Can I run something by you?

or "Do you have a minute?"  Don't you just love when they call and ask you that?  I LOVE that! That is code for: I want to talk and I want to talk to YOU.  

Let's talk about some of the things they run by you:

What classes should I take?

How do you make that chicken you cook?

Should I take vacation days to fly to that wedding or should I take the red-eye so I don't "waste" a day?

I've got this roommate dilemma...

How do I hang a mirror?

What should I give her for Valentine's Day?  

How many deductions should I take...what exactly are deductions?

How do I find a "primary care physician?"

A group of us want to go into the city, do you have any ideas about where we could stay?

I've been trying to get a job this summer and nothing's working out?

What kind of olive oil do you use?

My shirt has turned pink, what did I do wrong?

The list is endless and that's a good thing!

Of course many of the inquiries can be answered very quickly and succinctly, but lots of them involve conversation and if we know what's best, loads of listening.  That's right, that's what's best.  I know there are times we're desperate to just tell them what to do.  But we can't.  We need to let them work through some of these things...we can certainly "guide them" and offer thoughts and ideas, but the days of "telling them what to do" are past...at least for those of our kids that are now in college and have graduated and in the working world.  Now those of you that have kids in high school, you have control, you "own" the keys (if you get my drift), so you still have real control, but in some ways you need to start letting go.

(If you haven't read, take a look at:  "Letting Go: A Parents' Guide to Understanding the College Years" by Kevin Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Treeger.  It outlines the four years of college and gives you a "heads up" as to what to expect.  As several have always said :  "we're only as good as the information we have" so gather lots of information!)